Bugs, gems and pandas in Washington DC

DC with Noelle, Aidan and Keira

DC with Noelle, Aidan and Keira

I had a great time this weekend meeting up in Washington DC with Noelle and her kids, Aidan and Keira, who came up from Virginia. Aidan is my Godson and I consider Keira my unofficial Goddaughter by extension. We had a great time going to the Natural History Museum, where highlights were the bug exhibit (crazy big tarantulas and glow in the dark scorpians!) and the crystal and gem collection (turns out Keira is gem gal!). The kids tolerated my forced march to see the White House, even though it was dark already and we could only see it from a distance. On Sunday we went to the National Zoo and introduced the newest family member—Pandie the Panda–to Keira’s menagerie. The zoo has a new baby Panda, Bei Bei, but we could only see him on the video-cam because Mama Panda and baby were still not taking guests. In between we had fun hanging out in the hotel, swimming in the hotel pool, timing the super long escalators at the Metro and overdosing on deep dish pizza and ice cream shakes from Shake Shack. Aidan has grown up into a sports nut but he’s nice enough to tolerate Aunt Katja’s dumb sports questions like —“who won the world series” and “how many innings are there in a basketball game.” Since Noelle and her family live so far away, I don’t get to see them so often but luckily work takes me to DC often enough so we can see each other in person every now and then. Aidan is now almost ten and I can’t quite believe that this little peanut that I held in my arms not so long ago is now such a big boy! Its been a gift to be a part of Adain and Keira’s lives and to have a role model for such a great Mom in my friend Noelle!

Neurobiology and Parenting

child brain1I’m a neuroscientist and in the course of some of my work reading, I’ve been reading and thinking more about the brain development and critical periods, and how this relates to child cognitive development.  It’s known that the first few years of a child’s life are critical for proper brain development and there is some interesting work being done on the impact of social influences on early cognitive development. Good parenting, and a loving nurturing environment are known to be critical for a child’s development. There’s data to show that the care a child receives during this first critical period has a strong influence on who that little one will grow up to be, even beyond childhood.  Less clear has been what’s going on in the brain that mediates these effects. How is it that experiences in this early window of life last for so long? What’s going on in a child’s brain during this period? I recently saw an interesting episode of the Charlie Rose Show this week on the neuroscience of parenting which addressed this topic.

A brief divergence before saying more about this topic— I am a big Charlie Rose fan. I just love this show. He has great guests and is really a thoughtful interviewer on a wide array of topics. Charlie Rose has an ongoing series on the brain which brings together leading neuroscientists (many of whom I know well from working on Neuron) to discuss current research in neuroscience. Eric Kandel (by the way, I’m proud to say one of Neuron’s editorial Nobel prize winning ed board members!) hosts the show with Charlie Rose. It’s pretty cool to see people you know and admire on Charlie Rose but more so, I think the show does a great job of discussing the science at a pretty high but still accessible level. Being a science nerd, I just love this stuff!! I know, you would think that I’d have enough neuroscience from work and would spend my off hours watching more mindless TV (I do that too, don’t worry! Just get me going about the latest episode of Scandal!).

In any case, this Charlie role episode on parenting was really interesting. The show covered a very wide array of topics related parenting  from the hormonal control of parental bonding, to the importance of social interactions and caregiving on early life development, to post-partum depression. Through my work, I’ve read a lot of this research literature already but I really liked how the show brought some very diverse science together in a very “real world” way.  I’d highly recommend watching it: Charlie Rose Brain Series: The Biology of Parenting

I was especially struck by the work on the brain circuits and mechanisms that control parental bonding. It turns out that parental bonding behavior is both hard-wired in the brain and also under powerful hormonal influences. We now understand that there are particular parts of the brain and particular neuropeptides in the brain that drive bonding behavior. It’s thought that post-partum depression, which often comes with a feeling of not being able to bond with one’s baby, might have something to do with abnormal fluctuations of these hormones. I started thinking about this from the perspective of adoption and especially from a birth mother’s perspective. Bonding with your baby and loving your baby is neurally and hormonally hardwired. Your heart and your head are working together. And yet, for a birth mom, she really needs to step outside of her own biology and her own feelings and make a really, really hard decision of what is ultimately best for her child, not just for now but for an entire lifetime. Not being in that situation myself, I can’t imagine how it feels to be faced making such a difficult decision, while confronting strong emotions, surging pregnancy hormones and a naturally growing bond with the  baby you are carrying. I do know that taking the steps to do best by ones child, setting aside one’s own interests and feelings (and biology!), shows an awe-inspiring level of fortitude, bravery and selflessness.

Cleaning out and looking back

cloudsI am moving my office and have been cleaning out my files and desk drawers. I will admit to being a bit of a pack rat and prone to bouts of nostalgia, so its been fun to see what I’ve had tucked away. I found my job application for my first editorial position—a job application that changed my life! I also found a draft copy of my PhD thesis and notes for my thesis defense. Between files full of research papers that I saved for one reason or another, there were birthday cards from colleagues and a “you can do it” card from a friend from when I was thinking of applying for the Editor-in-Chief position. It’s been like discovering a time capsule of my professional life.

In between all the work stuff, I found this Mary Oliver poem, which someone sent me in a period of particular soul searching in my life, when I was thinking hard about taking the leap to become a Mom. The last line is one that gripped my heart  and inspired me to take that leap: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.”

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

–Mary Oliver

A Ghoulish Great Night!

Halloween7

Happy Halloween!

Halloween this year was a blast. After carving our pumpkins and decorating the porch, we started the afternoon with the Halloween Pet Parade at the dog park at Pt. Isabel. Bodhi transformed himself into his alter ego, Super Bodhi, and, in my humble opinion, stole the show. My friend Judy came over for the day and we met up with another friend Allison and her dogs Jack (the shark) and Colonel (the pirate) and joined the other four-legged furries who were graciously humoring their pet parents by wearing all manor of cute and silly costumes. There were lots of Star Wars costumes this year and a few devil dogs and hot dogs (ha ha!) too! After the park, we met up with our friend Phil who had come over to help pass out candy and before the crowds arrived, Super Bodhi led his pack for a  walk to check out the ghoulish and crazy decorations around the neighborhood. He kept us safe from all manner of zombies and skeletons and even a marauding squirrel who had taken down a neighbor’s jack-o’lanterns. Super Bodhi is not  fan of squirrels!  As the sun went down, the trick-or-treaters came out in force. We had loads of trick-or-treaters this year. Last year, I had the near panic of almost running out of candy so I was prepared this year. Lots of Elsa’s, storm troopers, skeletons, jelly fish, and even a few Minions. Holidays like this make me feel so lucky to live in such a great neighborhood. I can’t wait to someday have my own little one to take trick-or-treating. And Super Bodhi is looking forward to having a super sidekick!

Spooky Berkeley!

Halloween is in the air!

Halloween is in the air!

Halloween is in the air and my neighborhood takes Halloween very seriously! Skeletons, zombies,ghosts and witches but also crazy orange blow up pumpkins are everywhere. Cobwebs coat front porches and shrubs. Not to mention the tombstones that have sprouted up on almost every lawn. This has made walks with Bodhi more lively, especially now that its dark when we take our evening walk. Bodhi is not quite sure what to make of it all and has had several close encounters with skeletons and black cats, of the plastic kind. The first few tombstones he saw required an extra sniff, but now they’re a good stand in for a tree! One of the neighborhood teens down the street puts up a haunted house each year and collects donations to the local food bank from visitors. He starts working on it months before and its fun to see this crazy elaborate haunted house take shape in his driveway every year. The kids love it and its become a local tradition. And this being low-key Berkeley, the decorations will stay up for a good long while even after fright night passes. No one seems to care that the ghost hanging from the tree looks a bit droopy and out of place come Valentine’s Day. One of my neighbors lined their entrance path with skeleton head lights last year and when they were still up at Christmas, they gave each skeleton a green or red bow on top. Creative recycling at its best….only in Berkeley!

Tilden Little Farm

Tilden Little Farm

Tilden Little Farm

I had a super fun morning today hanging out at Little Farm in Tilden Park with Victoria, Luis, Eleanor and Sebastian. Berkeley has many special places but one of my favorite is Tilden Park. It’s a wonderful park with all sorts of great trails and activities, and only ten minutes from my house. One of my favorite Tilden places for spending time with kids is Little Farm. As the name says, Little Farm is a “little farm” and petting zoo for kids. They have sheep, goats, cows, geese, chickens, rabbits and some really portly pigs. “That’s a lot of bacon!” was a common (if not very creative) refrain from the adults. What I love about little farm is that the “farm hands” are all older kids (middle school age) who come spend their weekends at the farm introducing the little ones to how to brush, clean, and feed the animals. We came prepared with our bags of lettuce and celery and had a great time feeding and petting the animals. Eleanor was an old pro and did a great job of showing her little brother Sebastian that, despite the giant tongue, the mama cow was only interested in the celery and not his hand!

Daffodils

Fall always makes me think of my Mom and daffodils. My Mom loved to garden. I got my love of gardening from her. She especially loved to plant bulbs in the fall, before winter set in and the world goes gray and into hibernation. It’s a way to look forward to spring. I love daffodils too, especially large sweeping plantings of them. They are not around for long, but they are the epitome of spring arriving. Sunny and mellow and totally unpretentious, they remind me in that way of my Mom as well. White Flower Farm is an amazing nursery/garden nirvana near where I grew up in Connecticut.  They have oodles of bulbs, of all varieties–tulips, crocuses, and daffodils galore.  A great thing about good daffodils is that they can self-propagate, so if you plant a few this year, you’ll have more next year and over the years, more and more.  (As an aside, east coast daffodil blooms are way better at spreading than on the west coast—I guess you need that  cold burst, Spring and daffodils are one of the few east coast things I miss living in California). When I lived in Boston, my Mom and I would go to White Flower Farm and get bulbs this time of year, and now, as a way to remember her, I make a point each fall of sending a bag of bulbs to a friend. I like the idea of sunny fields of daffodils in memory of Mom.

Ten things I hope to teach my child

Ten things to teach my child

Ten things to teach my child

During one part of the process for writing and designing my adoption letter, the designer I was working with suggested exercises to stir the creative juices for writing the text for the letter. One was to make a list of the five things you hope to teach your child. I didn’t end up using this for the letter, but was inspired  and came up with ten. To be honest, I’m still learning some of these myself—see #6!

So, here they are…

Ten things I hope to teach my child:

  1. Be curious. Ask questions. Explore the world around you.
  2. Be kind and loving with others.
  3. True friends are rare finds. Cherish them.
  4. Learn to look on the bright side, even when it’s hard to find.
  5. Work hard but have fun too.
  6. Embrace imperfection
  7. Respect yourself and others too.
  8. Be open-minded  and don’t judge.
  9. Be brave—you can do anything.
  10. Above all, be true to yourself

Art and friends: visit to di Rosa Collection

Today I visited the di Rosa Collection in Napa for an “art hike” with Phil and Doug. It was a classically beautiful Napa day, and we hiked up a hill for amazing views of Napa and the Bay Area fog in the distance. I love art that is outdoors and if I ever strike it rich (!!), I’d want my own sculpture garden. For now, this might inspire me to do some work in the garden and maybe look for some funky garden art at my next flea market visit.