Support group musings

Stork 2The adoption agency I am working with (IAC/Independent Adoption Center) has monthly support groups. I braved the rush hour traffic tonight to go to this month’s meeting which was focused on the hospital visit.  I am not feeling anywhere  near the point of heading to the hospital to meet my baby and his birthmom (though, as they say, you never know when fate will intervene), but I decided to go to the meeting because I’ve been feeling a little down about being in this “waiting” limbo state and I thought it might help to connect with other families. It was a smaller more intimate meeting than others I have been to but really helpful. There were two families who brought their recently adopted newborns.Both were such cuties and about Otto’s age so of course I missed Otto. There were three other people prospective adoptive parents (a couple and a half of a couple), all of whom are, like me, in waiting limbo. Most have been waiting a lot longer than I have so I felt a bit bad to be feeling restless. Some had suffered through some really difficult situations on their adoption journey and their willingness to share even these most difficult stories and feelings was touching.  For all of us throwing our lots into the open adoption lottery—adoptive and wanna-be parents and birthparents alike—this is such a giant leap of faith. There are so many unknowns and no guarantees. The whole process is for the sake of this baby and the fated “match”, but we are as much committing to each other, enjoining our lives (whether to lesser or greater degree), our families, our hopes and dreams for this child. I’ll be honest and say that at times, this all feels very weighty and I’ll admit as well that this was probably more than I  expected to take on when I started this process. But at the same time, despite the complexities, the unknowns, the angst and yes, even the waiting, I feel fully committed to this path and confident that it will work out . The adoption counselor kept telling us “in the end, it will all be worth it.” I believe her, even if its hard to feel that now.

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